The Rev. Dr. Paul Smith Weblog
http://blog.revdrpaulsmith.org
The Rev. Dr. Paul Smith Weblog
I AM STUNNED AND DEVASTATED
I am stunned and devastated by all that is happening around me. I see images in Moore, Oklahoma following a tornado that could easily be the images in Joplin, Missouri, or parts of New Jersey or Long Island, NY following hurricanes. I am growing accustomed to seeing the CNN logo being worn on the rain gear of their newscasters holding a microphone in front of grieving people. As one grieving resident of the town of Moore, Oklahoma said "I don't know where I am because everything has been leveled." News information today is practically instantaneous. We live from one experience of the agony to the next. Faces of families who have lost their children in a storm or a school shooting appear on millions televisions across the country. We live between grief and ecstasy! One minute we are rejoicing and the next minute we are swallowed up in grief. How much more can any of us stand?
I feel my cup is running over with grief and tragedy these days. The continued fussing and fighting and political maneuvering in the halls of the United States Congress is draining my spirit. How dare we accept the "side shows" taking place there! How many more times can President Obama visit with weeping family members as they stand outside of what was once the place they used to live? How many more moments of silence will be observed reminding us of those who are facing the experience of the agony? I ask with the Psalmist "is there any balm in Gilead?" How can a divided nation be healed? How long, Lord, how long I hear myself crying out? I hear songs from the church of my early childhood ringing in my ears. "The storm is passing over, or I've been in the storm too long." none of which settles the turmoil churning inside of me. How much more can I take? How much more can any of us take?
In spite of everything happening to me and around me and you, I trust that "there is a balm in Gilead to heal my hurting and my pain. I affirm again and again that "trouble don't last always." I dig deeper into my own being and I discover that I am still a child of the living God. As I wipe my tears of devastation and grief for all who have lost their lives and their properties, I must tell myself that God is not through with Paul Smith yet. I remember that the world belongs to a God who is able to settle the dust of my frustrations and grief. Over and over again I hear the words of the late Rev. James Cleveland singing "I don't feel no ways tired, I've come to far from where I started from. I don't believe He brought me this far to leave me."
I must learn to be stronger than the devastation and the tragedies I am experiencing because the God of my life is strong. I must learn to find my way to those places of my spirit where my devastation and my grieving can be addressed. I acknowledge that I am honestly stunned and devastated by all that is happening around me. I find my quiet space and I summons those experiences where God has lifted me out of danger and despair again and again. I acknowledge my pain because my pain is real, but I cannot wallow forever in my pain. These are not just words to soothe my aching soul. These are words that I have relied on throughout my life and my career. I remember the God of my life is stronger and more loving than my experience of grief and pain. I remember the God of my life surrounds me even when my heart is broken and my hope and faith in God is being threatened. I look for a place of comfort where I address directly the God of my life and yours. I remember sitting next to my Grandmother in church watching tears flowing from her cheek as she prays along with the congregation. She recognizes how puzzled I am by her tears and gently pats me on my knees to let me know her tears are tears of joy. Howard Thurman says the pat on his knees by his Grandmother is the "greatest and loving affirmation of God's love he know".
Again, I affirm the presence of the Balm in Gilead moving in me and through me as I take inside of me the hurt, the deaths and the experience of the agony in Moore, Oklahoma. I affirm the presence of God in my life and I hurry to engage His presence even as I grieve for those who have lost their children and those who have lost their lives. I believe in hope that is lasting and eternal. I prepare myself to walk humbly with God when my crying and being devastated has ended. I move into a space where I may come to terms with what has troubled me. I must be brutally honest with my feelings and my thinking about the tornado in Oklahoma. I give thanks for those who were not harmed and for those who placed themselves in harms way as they helped others. I give thanks for one of the teachers who placed her body over her students to protect them. I give thanks for the first responders who continue to work through the debris in hope of finding others still trapped. My prayers continue and my faith continues for all who need comforting during these difficult times. And I remember, there is in God, sufficient strength, whatever our needs may be. And so it is!
Dr. Paul
WHAT IS IT GOING TO TAKE TO MAKE US .. . .?
As many of you know who read my words on this blog, I believe in reading the "clues" that appear before me. I try my best to listen to what mental images appear on my internal radar screen. I try to listen to what inspires me or what makes me cry. I try to listen carefully to what people are saying following a natural disaster regardless of where that disaster has taken place. I listen carefully to what people are not saying rather than what they are saying about themselves. My private journals are filled with my responses to life's clues, especially the clues like natural calamities or other kinds of disasters taking place in our lives. I am touched by the repeated natural disasters that seem to create a pattern-the kind of pattern that requires me to pay attention.
In the last few days there has been weather related calamities causing me to pause. Most recently tornadoes in Moore, Oklahoma 51 people were killed. Small children are among the dead. Several U.S. troops have been killed by roadside bombs in Afghanistan. Three women held in captivity for ten years who were sexually abused and physically beaten were set free in Ohio. Earthquakes and belching volcanoes have frightened people living in the affected areas. I believe these occurrences are not happen stance. I believe these occurrences are "clues" telling us the Creator is not pleased with the way we are destroying each other. The Creator is not satisfied with the way we are polluting the earth and its resources. So what will it take to get us to not only read life's clues but determine that we will do something about them? I am more and more convinced that life has a pattern of reaping and sowing, of antecedent and consequences. I believe the earth is telling us to stop trampling on it. speaking out about things that matter? I see a distinct pattern of weather occurrences that I believe are clues-clues for us to acknowledge that our present course is not the one we should be on. I believe the Creator is trying to tell us to mend our ways. I believe the Creator is sending messages through the events of nature-messages reminding us that there is something bigger and more powerful than our reliance upon technology. What is it going to take to stop us believing that technology is the our future? What will it take to show us that war is not the answer? What will it take for us to realize the huge influence violence has upon us?
I think we should stop ourselves long enough to see that a "pattern" is developing. Piles of debris that once were the homes where people lived are almost weekly occurrences. Paths of destruction from Moore, Oklahoma to Benghazi are commonplace. The deaths of innocent children and yet one more Memorial for President Obama to attend is becoming routine. What will it take for us to find ways to stop this madness? What will it take to make us stop worshipping technology which prevents human contact? What will it take to stop us from constantly attacking each other instead of finding ways to embrace each other?
The clues and the patterns continue to emerge and it is up to each one of us to take them seriously. We are on a collision course which has no exit sign. What is it going to take to make us . . .? And so it is!
Dr. Paul
KNOWING WHEN THE SIDE-SHOWS ARE IN FULL VIEW
I seem to remember the late J.Edgar Hoover, F.B.I. Director secretly wire-tapped Dr.M.L.King, Jr., the NAACP, and other African American civil rights icons and not a soul complained. I am sure I was on some F.B.I. list when I was active in the Civil Rights movement. We all sort of knew we were being watched and filmed and given a hard time when applying for credit or membership in civil rights organizations. The outcry of Tea Party folks is just another way of drawing attention away from the serious problems this country is facing. Until a couple of days ago the Tea Party was practically off of the media radar. As well they should be because this is one of the most racist, homophobic and separatist organizations in America. It is true they have a right to their opinion in a democracy however, they have to accept themselves for what they are-a separatist, racist and homophobic group of mostly white people who are outraged that a black man is the President of the United States. They will never accept this truth about themselves. While the Tea Partiers are whinnying four U.S. soldiers were killed in Afghanistan. While Tea Partiers were whinnying the Dow Jones broke another record. While Tea Partiers are whinnying this administration took down the most wanted and hunted terrorist in the world, Osama bin Laden. While Tea Partiers are whinnying and calling for the removal of Attorney General Holder, thousands of our returning service men and women are being treated as second class citizens. The suicide rate among these soldiers is skyrocketing . The federal and state law enforcement agencies came together and within days captured and killed two of the brothers who allegedly set off two bombs during the Boston Marathon. While the Tea Partiers are whinnying and creating a side-show with their complaining, the Obama administration is trying its very best to stop the Republican road blocks in the U.S. Congress.
There are legitimate arguments from groups across the country who are not satisfied with the Obama administration. That is their right and responsibility in a democracy. Political side-shows are not. This administration has systematically decreased the employment numbers as our economy struggles successfully to recover from the mess left by the previous administration. And the best Tea Partiers can do is complain they were 'targeted' by the IRS. Well guess what? People of color and immigrants continue to be targeted. John King of CNN had to apologize for his erroneous description of the Boston Bomber as 'a dark skinned'. How many more side shows will take place as Tea Party folks and politicians continue their assault upon President Obama? How many more side-shows will it take to keep President Obama's agenda for America on track? Listen up America! If we do not keep our eyes on the prize for America that President Obama and his administration are working on to keep our country solvent and safe, America will be the losers.
President Obama is far from being perfect. I am disappointed that side-shows over the economy and employment caused him to take his foot off the brakes on closing down Guantanamo. I am disappointed that some U.S. Senators are trying to push President Obama into the conflict in Syria. How many more wars and conflicts is the United States expected to take on? How many more lives of young men and women are expected to be deployed to places historically embroiled in conflicts around the globe? Let's keep our eyes on the prize America! Let us not get saddled with the many political side-shows occurring throughout our beloved country. As long as the Rush Limbaughs and Glenn Becks keep stirring the pot with their irresponsible lies and innuendoes these side shows will continue.
Isn't it interesting how so many people want this president to fail? Isn't it interesting how many people use President Obama as the cause of their problems. Isn't it interesting that Washington is in grid lock by politicians on both sides of the political aisles basically rendering the District null and void! We deserve everything that these side-shows create for the American people unless we are honest about the great racial divide in our country. What is even more telling is that Americans are not in the streets protesting and demanding that the political grid lock be stopped. Isn't it interesting how quick all of us are to find someone to blame for America's plight? Global warming is increasing and Tea Partiers are whinnying about being 'targeted'? Wake up America! Open your eyes and acknowledge the flaws all of us have. Acknowledge the inner turmoil boiling within us. Acknowledge the despair and hopelessness so many of our citizens have because our government just cannot seem to get around partisan politics.
The Buddhist have a belief system that simply advises its followers to observe. That system or philosophy is known simply as STOP. Stop yourself from being angry. Stop yourself from being selfish. Stop yourself from discriminating against another human being. Stop yourself from eating more than you should. Stop yourself from being violent. Stop yourself from listening to the via negativa! Stop yourself from avoiding the truth about yourself! Stop yourself from harming another human-being. Stop yourself from accepting what you know is not the truth! Stop yourself from blaming others about your own plight! To STOP requires discipline. Stop requires practice. Why can't we STOP our cups from overflowing? Why don't we STOP ourselves when our adrenalin begins to flow inside of us? I am learning more and more how to practice STOPPING. It is not easy! It makes you feel vulnerable. It makes me seethe inside when I feel my anger welling up. I am trying my hardest to stay centered and focused as I witness the political and social side-shows taking place all around me. I am keenly aware I cannot STOP by myself. I must find some one or some place that shields me against the side-shows waging war with my spirit. This I do in quiet ways. I find solace in journaling which keeps my temperature from rising. I find peace and hope and love whenever I am with our grandchildren. Their innocence and their curiosity lights a flame inside of my soul. I go to them when I feel my soul is in the lost and found. I hear in them what the Psalmist says in Psalm 23: the Lord is my shepherd I shall not want . . he restores my soul." My grandchildren restore my soul. My grandchildren lift up my spirits. My grandchildren keep me from going over the abyss. My close friends and confidants restore my soul as I reach out to them and they to me. As long as I can get to them I know I am going to be able to handle whatever life throws at me. No more side-shows please! And so it is!
Dr. Paul
THE EXPERIENCE OF THE AGONY
Once again my heart is broken as I watch the continuous coverage of the bombings in Boston. My heart goes out to those whose lives were tragically cut short by such a cowardly act. How do the parents of an 8 year old child killed in the bombings overcome their grief? Theirs is the ultimate experience of the agony. How does one keep taking in the stories and images of tragedy and not feel enraged? How do any of us handle yet another brutal and deadly attack upon innocent people? As we gaze at the images on our television screen how are we expected to keep our rage and anger in check? We might rightly ask why such tragedies keep happening? A harder question for me is this: why do we so easily set aside our differences, our prejudices and our political alliances in the midst of national tragedies? Think about it!
It has only been a few weeks since the unfathomable experience of the agony inNewtown, Connecticut. We can hardly take many more of these horrific experiences that brings many of us to our knees as we seek answers for the experience of the agony. How many times do we have to hear the words "our thoughts and prayers goes out . . ? " And what do these words mean anyway? When will we ever catch a break I ask myself? Are there any lessons to be learned by us from these experiences of the agony? Will the broken hearts of families of the victims ever mend? What can I do to prepare myself for theexperiences of the agony that will continue to come?"
There are no easy answers to the questions I have raised. I know I cannot feel the pain and hurt of those who were in the center of the bombings in Boston. I am aware that the experience of the agony has consumed so many of us and as a result we are drawn closer and closer to edge. But I can do something and I will offer that something to you even as I taste my own tears. I acknowledge that I am overwhelmed by the experience of the agony. I cannot deny that I am a contributor to the experience of the agony in many of my relationships, beginning with how I treat my spouse, how I treat my children, how I treat my friends and how I treat those whose opinions I do not value. Take a look at the following quote and then ask yourself does this quote define me? Now here is the quotation: You do not have to disrespect and insult others simply to hold your own ground. If you do, that show how shaky your own position is." How many times have you disrespected and insulted another person simply to hold your own ground or your own opinion? Think about it! For months we heard politicians running for office tearing down their opponents, disrespecting their opponent and insulting their opponent and we watched it all on television. Candidates got into verbal fights, criticized each other and in some cases lied about their opponent. It did not stop until the experience of the agony took the lives of 28 people 20 being innocent little children in Newtown, Connectivut. Now the Boston bombings occurred and once again the nation came to a halt as we all looked on in disbelief. The nation's capital Washington D.C. still fresh from heated debate, accusations and insults hurled at each other over gun control and immigration, took a back seat as all of us watched yet again, images of bloodied people with missing limbs writhing in pain. Here was theexperience of the agony visiting us again. Will we ever learn it is not by might, nor power but by my Spirit says the Lord? Will we ever learn what my fore parents sang in the cotton fields "its me, its me, its me O Lord, standing in the need of prayer?" All of us have been visited by the via negativa and it has affected how we relate to one another. But we are thrown into complete solidarity and unity when we are visited by the experience of the agony in Newtown and Boston. I pray we can take into our hearts what comes out of the experiences of the agony that turns us into one nation, under God, indivisible with liberty and justice for all. Now take a few quiet moments to lift up those whose lives were changed forever in Boston. In your quiet time allow your anger, your disbelief, your rage and your feelings of powerlessness to subside. Let go of the toxicity inside of you. Let it go! Then ask as the Psalmist asks in Psalm 139. vss 27,28 "search me O God and know my heart, try me and know my thoughts and see if there be any wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting." Peace and blessings,
Dr. Paul
I Won't Harm You with Words from my Mouth
It has been some time since I have written on my blog. The truth is I have been thinking about what I might write as I have been a deep water thinker during my absence. I did take my annual train ride from Washingto, D.C. to Los Angeles, California. It was refreshing, restorative and restful. I met some interesting folks on the train and I saw the beautiful snow capped mountains along the way. One night a bright full moon followed the train through New Mexico. Seeing the moon against the background of the mountains was absolutely wonderful for my spirit.
I met my surrogate son in Union Station in Chicago where we discussed the prognosis of his father who was more my brother than my physician. His cancer was progressing and the family was contemplating hospice. I thought a lot about my brother Les Bond as I traveled across the country and I had plenty of centering time in preparation for what was surely to come. What I did not expect was the death of yet another dear friend and physician, Dr. Jerome Williams. Both men were Icons in the fight against segregation and racism in St. Louis. Both died within a week of each other. Their families were my family and through the years we found comfort, friendship and love whenever we were all together. I am just now feeling the affects of their loss upon me.
I was desperately seeking an opening for my inner spirit. My spiritual draught was lingering too long. I journaled each day and sometimes my cup runneth over and I could see the tears falling upon the pages of my journal. The anger and violence gripping our nation is so unsettling and debilitating that I had to find a way to get back on track again. My soul was drifting into the lost and found arena. My energy level was being drained by the war of words within both political parties and I noticed my own anger being stirred up in my journal writing. What to do? How am I going to move beyond the via negativa showing up in my journal writings? How was I going to regain my balance? What did my journal entries reveal about me and why were the "words from my mouth" harming others? I think you can resonate with what I am saying! I was in a dark place and I needed to find a way out.
My way out for me came in the words of a song by gospel song writer and musician Rev. Hezekiah Walker. A friend had been playing and singing gospel music in his car as we traveled around Los Angeles. However, I did not truly hear the profound words from one of the songs until we were having breakfast at a friends home in Los Angeles. Here are the words that touched me and began my process of spiritual healing."I won't harm you with words from my mouth, you are important to me, I need you, I love you, I need you to survive." I kept repeating over and over again the words "I won't harm you with words from my mouth" and like a bolt of lightening I heard myself saying over and over again "that's it, that's it." Think about it if you will? Its the words from our mouths that have harmed the people we love, the people we have elected to serve our country, the people we hear talking harshly about another person while walking down the street. We harm people with words of attack against them. We hear harmful words from news casters, politicians, corporate giants, parents, young people and professional athletes and Rappers alike. Thus, we create an atmosphere of anger, hostility towards others which creates a toxic environment. Instead of turning to each other we turn on each other. Instead of taking time for deep listening our words become angry and toxic and personal. It takes time for us to listen to the words coming from our mouths. The more we listen to our own words the more we realize how harmful our words have become. It takes practice if you want to stop using harmful words.
I realize how my words are rarely harmful when I am playing with or talking to my grandchildren. I realize how words are intentionally pleasant when I am preaching or teaching. I also realize how easily my words can be harmful when speaking with my wife when we have an argument. My words can be harmful when I am so sure that I am right and I am not listening to myself. Right now there are harmful words coming out of North Korea. Right now there are harmful words coming out of the mouths of Conservatives, Liberals. Right now there are harmful words coming out of the mouths of those who believe in their right to own guns and those who have the opposite view. As I listen to Hezekiah Walker singing I can feel the tensions softening inside of me. I can feel my spiritual energy slowly returning. There is a lift in my spirit as I continue my daily rounds. I am very conscious of the words coming forth from my mouth and that begins to make a huge difference in how I will respond. Now take a deep breath after reading this entry. . listen to your breathing as it becomes softer and calmer. . .listen to the words you have spoken this day and try to determine whether your words were harmful or helpful. Remember your breathing because it means you are alive. Remember the God of your life who loves you and who cares for you . Remember that you are important to God and God wants all of us to survive. And remember, there is in God, sufficient strength, whatever our needs may be. And so it is!
Dr. Paul
WHEN THE STRAIN IS HEAVIEST . . .
Just when we all took a deep breath following a contentious and divisive presidential election campaign we are right back in the midst of the fray. We have learned little and we seem to be overwhelmed once again. For a few brief days our hearts were broken as we saw the carnage in Newtown, Connecticut. The faces of grief once again occupied the front pages of newspapers around the world. The fiscal cliff discussions turned south in a hurry and only at the last minute did the Congress take action. More and more jobs are being eliminated and the American people are still waiting for some measure of cooperation from the Congress. The attacks on President Obama returned with a vengeance and any hope for bipartisanship seems impossible. The strain upon the American people is heavy and evil lurks in the wings. The country is in a terrible place right now (not the first time) and we seem to be too overwhelmed to find higher ground. What can we do to break this seemingly impossible grip upon us? What can you and I do to raise the water level in our lives? What resources are available to us to break what appears to be an endless cycle?
I would like to remind all of us that some of the most creative ideas come to us when the strain is heaviest. Some of our best work as human beings comes when the straiin is heaviest. Hear what Howard Thurman has to say in his book (my favorite) The Growing Edge: "at times when the strain is heaviest upon us, and our tired nerves cry out in many-tongued pain because the flow of love is choked far below the deep recesses of the heart, we seek with cravings firm and hard the strength to break the dam that we may live again in love's warm stream. We want more love; and more and more until at last, we are restored and made anew! or so it seems. More love we cried; as if love could be weighed, measured, bundled, tied. As if with perfect wisdom we could say- to one, a little love; to another , an added portion; and on and on until all debts were paid with no one left behind. But now we see the tragic blunder of our cry . . . not for more love our hungry cravings seek! But more power to love."
I tend to do some of my best thinking when the strain is heaviest
upon me. As I am drawn deeper and deeper into the abyss of the world's
problems as well as my own, I am also drawn to a deeper note of
possibilities. When it seems I am at my greatest loss and I see no exit
signs something quite revealing and refreshing begins to unfold. What
seemed so impossible only a few moments ago suddenly becomes possible.
That which weighed so heavily upon my heart now seems to be just a bit
lighter. Were the strain not heavy I might have missed my opportunity
to see the hand of God in my life. Just when my experience of the agony
seemed to be unbearable and I had no human GPS to show me a way out, an
opening occurs for me. The weight upon my shoulders that kept my
spirit from soaring begins to get lighter for me. It does not happen in
a flash necessarily because that which is weighing me down is real and
difficult for me to handle. I am a wounded warrior and I acknowldge
that the world's issues have affected me. I must not deny that my soul
has been in the lost and found for a period of time. I acknowledge the
hurts and insensitivities which have surrounded my wounded soul. I weep
when I think about the many degradations accompanied by the via
negativa that have become a huge burden upon my spirit. The strain is
heaviest upon my spirit. What can I do about it? What can you do about
it?
One of my spiritual partners told me a few weeks ago that she no longer listens to the news because it weighs too heavily upon her spirit. She also finds ways to keep herself grounded as a way of "defending" herself against the via negativa. However, I am beginning to understand the meaning of Thurman's writing about "when the strain is heaviest." Were it not for the the heavy strains of life you and I might not find the capacity to go deep inside of my our own selves. I might not have the energy or strength to listen for the clues which can only come when the strain of life is heaviest. As horrific, painful and tragic was the experience of the agony in Newtown, Connecticut, I had to find a way to keep myself from going over the "negative emotional cliff." My strain like yours was heavy and it kept me in captivity. But I could not stay there! I had to make a way out of no way other wise the strain would crush me.
When life's burdens weigh heavily upon my spirit I make myself open
to the presence of God in my life. I must believe with all of my heart
that the God of my life will bear my heavy burdens with me. When 9/11
happened we were overwhelmed with grief. It was hard to take in all
that happened in a matter of a few hours on that horrible day. We
turned momentarily from being a culture of complaint into becoming
people of hope. When the strain is heaviest as it is for now my friend
who lost his fiancee a few weeks ago, he found a blessing he had not
expected: he was holding her hand as she took her last breath. In the
midst of his sorrow and grief and with the strain of her death difficult
to comprehend, he comes out of the wilderness of that experience
with renewed strength. When the strain is heaviest and we find it hard
not to stop complaining, we look for an opening. An opening will surely
come but we have to wait on it. Sometimes it is the heaviest strain
upon us that reveals our character. God's reach is deep and wide and
not subject to cancellation when the strain of life is heavy upon us.
We go on because we must go on. What I do with life's strain is up to
me. I can become a critic of everything that happens around me. I am
so busy complaining I cannot see that the strain is providing me with
clues about my life. I understand that I am not the only one with
serious issues. I am not the only one whose back is against the wall.
I learn to carry my heavy strain because I am not alone in carrying
it. I begin to open myself up to the God of my life who bears my heavy
load with me. Once I am on the other side of my heavy strain I must
take time to discern the benefits which come only when the strain is
heaviest. I like the words of Ambassador George Haley which speaks to
my heart and soul. He says:' nobody can do everything, but everybody
can do something, and just because you can't do everything doesn't mean
you shouldn't do the something you can do.' and so it is.
Dr. Paul
Dr. Paul
When Will "The American People" Step Up?
Over and over again we have heard the term "the American people" used by most of the 575 people elected or appointed by us to run our government. I have read article after article (most recently by billionaire Warren Buffett about the catastrophic consequences should the Congress not solve the fiscal cliff problem. This is the most egregious and politically motivated scheme on both sides of the political aisles. And these elected and appointed officials say they are looking out for the interest of the American people. The 575 folks have only their self-interests and their allegiance to their political party. There is also a not so quiet attempt to embarrass President Obama who has led this country through some of the worst times in it's history. It is time for this foolishness to stop. It is time for the "real" American people to rise up to stop this silly and dangerous game of party over patriotism.
After months of protests and the deaths of many of the protesters in Egypt the people of Egypt prevailed. When Egypt's newly elected leader Morsey for some strange reason tried to take Egypt back to a dictatorship by granting all power to himself, the people of Egypt stopped him in his tracks. They decided they had fought too hard and long to oust a dictatorship which held them hostage for too many years. All over the world people are yearning to be free of tyranny, exploitation and greed. Dictatorships are beginning to crumble around the world and the "people" are the ones responsible for making these historic changes. So why do we the American people feel so helpless with yet another crisis in the land? Why are we allowing our elected and appointed officials to (575 of them) to put our beloved country in yet another fiscal crisis? Why are we content with the present gun laws which allow innocent children and adults to be slaughtered? What does it mean that the NRA is one of the most powerful groups with hundreds of lobbyist and millions and millions of dollars to stop any attempt to change gun laws in our country?
Today I watched briefly as the last of the innocent children killed by a gunman in Newtown, Connecticut were buried and once again my heart was broken. For days this unspeakable tragedy occupied the front lines of newspapers around the world. Reporters and journalists were stumbling over each other as they tried to be the "first" on the scene to gain an "exclusive" report of the tragedy. I know many people who are mortified by what happened in Newtown to the innocent children and their teachers, so much so they no longer watch any news. We heard from many of the 575 elected and appointed officials for a few days but Christmas was nearing and the net works didn't want to spoil that holiday with bad news. If this is true it is insane! The holidays have come and gone and the 575 elected and appointed people have done little to address the issue of guns ion America. Thank God for Marian Wright Edelman CEO of the Childrens Defense Fund for keeping alive the issue of gun control and the harm it is doing to our children. How can we accept the irresponsibility of Congress (who has the lowest approval rating of any Congress in history) to put politics over the good of the country? Why do we feel we are powerless against them?
The Congress is playing politics with our future and with the future of our children and our grandchildren. Why have we allowed them to wait until the very last moment to put our country's economy in peril again? It just makes no sense and already the financial markets have taken a huge hit as a result of the irresponsibility of this Congress. And the American people are not on the streets of Washington, D.C. demanding action. My phone keeps ringing off the hook asking for money to fund President Obama's Inauguration. While I did attend his first one and while I celebrate his re-election I wonder what might happen were the Inauguration to be postponed and the seating of the new members of Congress was delayed until the fiscal crisis is resolved? How can the Inauguration be a celebration when the country is on the brink of a fiscal disaster and a possible recession? Why celebrate that? Come on people wake up and feel the power inside of you and demand Congress stop immediately playing politics with our future and solve the fiscal crisis affecting all of us.
My dear friend and colleague in ministry the Rev. Dr. Elizabeth Kaeton closes her blog entry on 12/27/12 with the prophetic and poignant words of Mark Helprin, author of Winter's Tale: "Justice can sleep for years and awaken when it is least expected. A miracle is nothing more than dormant justice from another time arriving to compensate those it has cruelly abandoned. Whoever knows this is willing to suffer, for he knows that nothing is in vain." May justice prevail and awaken in us for we have suffered long enough. Mother Elizabeth's blog which I recommend reading is: http//:telling-secrets.
Dr. Paul
ENDINGS ARE NOT ALWAYS HAPPY UNLESS . . .
Like so many of you I have been numb since the horrific tragedy that occurred in Newtown, Connecticut. My heart is deeply wounded by this tragic fact and I find myself crying every time I see children playing on the street where I live in Maryland. Over and over again I try to imagine how the families are dealing with their loss. I feel so hurt by the way we politicize the tragedy and already I am feeling my anger welling up when I hear Mike Huckabee and James Dobson talk about how "God is punishing us because of our disregard for God language in school prayer and for recognizing gays and lesbians.
I am slowly coming out of my deep frustration by watching the Hall Mark Channel Countdown to Christmas. One of the reasons I enjoy these stories has to do with their happy endings. Over and over again I feel my tears of joy when each story has a happy ending. Such endings are good for my inner spirit. As I watched yesterday I realized that all stories do not and cannot have a happy ending. Nevertheless, I can hardly wait for the end of the stories to come because the endings give lift to my Spirit. So here I am moved by yet another ending of a story. But today was different because I began thinking about the children and their teachers whose ending was not joyful rather it was a horrible ending. Gone is the laughter of the children; gone is their playfulness; gone is their happiness and their dreams. Never again, as far as we know, will they have a future. Clearly, there is no happy ending to their stories.
But I started to thinking about how paralyzed I have become since this horrific crime. Just hearing children playing or singing tugs at my heart strings. I am finding it difficult to focus. I have even limited writing in my journal. Why? Because I keep waiting for a happy ending to the tragedy in Newtown. I keep hoping and praying for some one to step forward to make my pain go away. I ask out loud "where in the world is God?" I can hardly bear to watch any of the memorial services for the children. Where, O where is the happy ending to this story I ask? How can these families bear the burden of losing their children? And then a thought came to me. Endings are not always happy unless. . .I find a way to write the ending in my own soul. Unless I find a way to garner enough strength to remove the anger and hurt I feel towards the alleged murderer of the children and their teachers, my life's story will never have a happy ending.
I am overwhelmed by the way we seem to so quickly get over our mourning. We sure know how to mourn the deaths of troops in harms way in far away places. Just throw up a picture of any of these troops and within minutes we are glued to an overtime basketball game on the same channel as the deceased soldier. But, I believe endings are not always happy unless . . .we go deep into ourselves and remember how all of us one day will be visited by the experience of the agony. How we deal with the experience of the agony will determine the ending of our life's story. Unless we recognize how quickly we can snap at our spouses, our children, our President and our neighbor, only then can we create our own ending to our story. I appreciated the words of President Obama when he asked us(when he heard of the news of the Newtown tragedy) "to hug your children tightly and tell them how much you love them?" We should do and say these words everyday. We should seek ways to love our neighbor as ourselves. We can find ways for a happy ending to the fiscal crisis our country is facing. Unless we return to the simple graces of life e.g. saying thank you; or please excuse me; or I am so sorry; or I feel so badly I did not reach out to you! Or, I did not share my extra coats and trousers and shoes and socks with someone who needed them. You get the picture! Endings are not always happy unless . . .we can find ways to make them so.
Let me be very clear that I am aware that evil is a part of life. I am not saying evil can be avoided. I am not saying we will never be visited by the experience of the agony. But I am saying that most of life's stories and their endings have more to do with US and how we respond to the evil around us and the evil within us. I mentioned earlier in this entry that I was truly vexed and angry by Mike Huckabee's words of condemnation of school systems omitting prayer (God) and linking his beliefs to the cause of the tragedy in Newton. I am not proud of what I thought about Huckabee and I instantly thought about my own anger being of the same kind as Mike Huckabee at that moment. The challenge for me and for you is learning how to find an ounce of common ground inside of me that allows me to disagree with Huckabee and still love and acknowledge him as another human-being standing in need as much as I am standing in need. This is a very difficult thing for all of us to do but the endings are not always happy unless . . . And so it is.
Dr. Paul
THE SEASON OF REMEMBRANCE AND FORGIVENESS
Like so many of you I
have no words that will convey understanding of the violence and killing
that occurred in Newtown, Connecticut. Twenty young children and six
adults were brutally gunned down by a young man with guns. The crime is
unspeakable and fills our hearts with indescribable saddness and pain.
Our pain will take some time to go away however the pain of the families who
lost their little ones and the teachers may never go away. My mentor Dr. Howard
Thurman writes: at some time or other in a person's life we are visited by the
'experience of the agony.' Newtown, Connecticut is the latest to have
that experience and visit. Our hearts go out to all who have been
affected by this horrific tragedy.
To be honest I am tiring of the continued occurrences of shootings taking the
lives of the innocent. Hardly had I gotten around the tragedy
in a movie theatre in Colorado then I am inundated yet again by the media's
coverage of Newtown. The pattern emerging is one that tears at my heart
strings. I know that pattern so well and it conjures up negative thoughts and
accusations inside of me. I know the drill as I know you know!
.We interrupt for breaking news . . .images of people fleeing for their lives
even as the cameras roll. News anchors stop whatever they were doing and
within hours they are reporting directly from the scene. Microphones and
cameras are placed in front of terrified people who have just been visited by
the experience of the agony. Countless officials, including the President
of the U.S.A. hold news conferences which they hope will accurately inform the
public of what just happened, Over and over again the experience of the agony
is reported. Politicians differ on what should be done and when, if
anything can be done. You get the pattern!
My temperature rises when I hear such stupid comments from politicians like
Mike Huckabee declaring the tragedy would not have occurred had 'prayer and
God' not been removed from the public schools in America. As much as
I respect a few of the CNN journalist too many of them act like 'super stars'
vying for ratings as they keep the tragedy alive much too long for my
comfort. However, what grates on me more than anything is that we know
those politicians and officials who claim to be stunned keep finding ways to
avoid talking real action to curb such gun violence. How many more
deaths by guns in public places will it take to get America to really do
something? How many more times will I have to hear 'the gun lobbyists'
will never be beaten because of their money and power? In the past 48
hours after the Newtown tragedy, the arguments for and against some type of gun
control policy goes on feverishly. In the meantime, President Obama will
visit the area and participate in a national time of mourning/memorial for the
deceased. He is more heart broken this time because he has children of
his own and can only imagine the pain of the parents of the 20 children who
died.
Where does that leave me? I can only offer what I believe and have experienced as a pastor, a parent and a grandparent. 1) I acknowledge a void has been created in the lives of the families who lost their children and loved ones. 2) I affirm, through my tears and my broken heart, that it will take a long time for the broken hearts to mend. 3) I must not create and argument with the God of my life, regardless of its therapeutic and religious value. My issue is not with God -it resides with those who have it within their power to lessen such violence again. 4) I am reminded again of my mentor Dr. Howard Thurman who says:" what we thought we could not bear we have to bear it anyway." Not one of us is exempt from being visited by the experience of the agony. 5) Even though my heart breaks for all who have been visited by the experience of the agony, I must find a way to place my experience into a category of faith and trust in God. Otherwise, I will wallow in my grief which can easily turn into revenge or even render me hopeless and helpless. This I must do with every ounce of my being, knowing the God of my life will eventually show me a path through my experience of the agony. In the meantime, I wait, I write in my journal and I pray to God that my grief will not drive me away from Him. This is the season of remembrance and forgiveness. I must learn to do both. And so it is!
Dr. Paul
WE OFTEN NEED TO BE REMINDED
Every now and then I need to be reminded about a lot of things. I need to
be reminded how I am "too blessed to be stressed." I need to be
reminded of the wonderful woman I have been married to for nearly 53 years.
Every now and then I need to recount the blessings I have received from others.
I often need to be reminded of God's love for me as seen through the eyes of
others. I need to be reminded that 'trouble don't last always.'
I
need to be reminded of the small and the large graces afforded me. I need
to be reminded that there are some people still unable to return to what was
once their home before hurricane Sandy demolished it. Every now and then
I need to accept the fact that 'stuff' happens and it is up to me whether I
learn to handle it. I need to be reminded of the many blessings and
graces afforded me especially when the level of the water in my well is low.
I need to be reminded of the people I care about and who care about me. I
need to be reminded that life's pressure weighs heavily upon all of us at some
point in our lives. I need to be reminded that life is fragile at times
thus, we can easily be broken. I need to be reminded that whatever I am
praised for while indeed a blessings, yet it may not have anything to do with
me.
I
need to be reminded that God's strength is sufficient even when I am
overwhelmed by my daily rituals. I need T O re reminded of the people in
my life who traveled to hospital bedsides, who carried the communion basket and
towel with me. I need to remember how my two Dorothy's accompanied me to
grave sides, to hospital rooms where a birth had occurred; who stood side by
side with me every Sunday and made the service come alive. I need to
remember the elderly preacher who rode to Anniston, Alabama with me every
Sunday during my senior year of college. His advice and counsel and his
watching over me on a segregated Trail Ways bus is the reason I am alive today.
Every now and then remind yourself of God's goodness and mercy. There have been times when your cup and mine have run over but there was someone you could reach out to for support and love. I am reminded that my agenda and my daily rounds are not always in my control. Someone, some incident, a phone call or an email changes the course of my day. When that happens to us we just learn to go with it. Why? Because there is something that may come out of the incident that will change our lives forever. BUT IF NOT. . .I will continue to keep myself open to hear the birds singing-to hear the wind blowing against my face- to see a mother's arm wrapped around her child as she stands waiting in line at the store- or when I read about the NYPD officer kneeling down to be face to face with a man without shoes-or when I hear from my friend whose mother continues to live in Syria determined to live out her days there. But most of all I am reminded and thankful to all of the people who have touched my life and who have brooded over me and in doing so, have made me whole again. Think about it! What do you need to be reminded of? And so it is!
Dr. Paul